Home

Questions (10/13/2001-10/27/2005)

Since I was a Junior in college, I have been writing and scribbling in various notebooks. For a while I’ve been trying to figure out how to convert these pages into something coherent enough to actually show people. I finally decided to focus upon one common thread that runs throughout my journals: questions. I compiled a list of about 70 questions that I asked throughout my schooling, traveling, pot smoking, game playing, and work. I then deleted about 20 that I thought made so little sense that they would be uninteresting. The remaining 53 are still largely incomprehensible, foolish, or out of context. But for some reason, I’m compelled to show them to you anyway. Every question was hand written with pen or pencil. While I’m tempted to scan and publish every page of my journals, for now I’ve inserted the handful of images that I believe have the most value.

	1. How does the listener’s perception of the location of the music source effect his listening experience?
	2. Do musicians think in sound metaphors?
	3. The philosopher is faced with the question: who dreamed the world? Himself? Or God?
	4. Is Dionysian intoxication labeled ‘pathological’?
	5. When you read, is the book thinking for you?
	6. Should I read or watch television?
	7. Does Bjork sound good to everyone?
	8. I spend most of my life fantasizing about walks though mental space. Will a walk through physical space make my mental walks seem trivial?
	9. For me, when I stumble upon a concept, it serves as an excuse to externalize my maze pattern; i.e. my madness. Does Van Gogh paint the world? Or is the world his excuse?
	10. Was metaphysics born with literacy?
	11. Why would anyone want to destroy this dream world?
	12. While I was stoned in a coffee shop, I noticed that I was afraid of anything real. I always have a mild version of this tendency. Because I am an only child?
13. Why are druggies so afraid of Charles Baudelaire’s Artificial Paradises?
14. What is it to love an animal that doesn’t know of “love”?
15. Do Amsterdam’s coffee shops provide circumstances that allow for a clear view of marijuana’s character? When marijuana is the object, does the coffee shop become transparent?
16. Impressionists are painting the mirror image of the world. Cezanne paints the world. Did reflections incite the idea to make art?
	17. Is it better to have empty words or arbitrarily filled in words?
	18. Do I have the work ethic I need to succeed?
	19. How? How? How? How? How? How? How?
	20. Is it a good practice for me to reread what I write?
21. Part of me wants to start writing erotic stories (is this the same side of me that wants to study chess for a living?).
22. How much can I learn about people from watching TV?
23. Objectivism versus Subjectivism—what could be a more profound opposition?
24. What language-game should I learn to play???!!!
	25. Should I smoke weed right now?
	26. Should I smoke?
27. Why do I have all these dependencies? Is everyone like this?
28. Do you see how bad I have the craving for generality?
29. Space filler. (why?)
30. Do you think this is deep? Or shallow as fuck?
	31. Wow, look how my handwriting has changed since before I smoked. So am I glad I smoked?
	32. At work I compromise. Does the CEO compromise? I do because I don’t have permission to pursue every idea I conceive. Do I compromise when I play chess?
33. My opponent and I agree to play the game together, we agree to stare at the same pieces, the same board. What if he just walked away, Decided to stop playing? What would I do? I would just be sitting there.
34. How should I balance reading poker books and reading fiction? Is the introduction of poker into my life a good thing or a scary thing?
35. Something abstract is in my midst. It’s true, abstract in its relationship with time, it dabbles in many instances. It fills up and releases. I feel good or bad, yet the same. What should I do with it? Should I center my forces around it? Or ignore it such that it breaks from the mainland, chunks floating to sea? Is this a decision for me, or for me as a writer?
	36. Will a piece of writing break off and spin autonomously away from this madness? Do I need to make it happen? Or will it just happen? Do I need a job to write?
	37. Is the ultimate goal to go as far into the dream space as possible?
	38. I need an autonomous work to spin away and become warm. Mazes?
	39. Do you want a cookie?
	40. I’m aggressive. Why not be aggressive in a place where everyone is up for the challenge?
	41. Gambling addicts and self destructors. Who else deserves their money more than me? Will I be a therapist at the poker table? Alleviating pain in exchange for money.
	42. Good thought #1. Good thought #2. Good thought #3… “Was that thought writable?”
	43. But what do I with this notebook?
44. Kafka creates milieus where thinkers come against walls of other human beings. When an official turns a deaf ear, thoughts plop lifelessly on the floor. Is this Kafka’s characterization of the world? Or just of particular situations?
45. What general statements can we make about these impossible-for-thought situations? How can we determine if we are in one of these situations?
46. At the company where I work, how high must I look to see one of Kafka’s officials?
47. Where else could white put his king’s bishop?
48. The question remains: whose white-squared bishop was more valuable?
49. How do English words look to native Japanese readers? Do they slide off the surface? Do they provide a relief from the relentlessly deep roots of Kanji?
50. What do I do with my life nowwww?
	51. Will the inclusion of the text “Chichu art museum” in my web site get me more traffic from search engines?
	52. How? Architecture? Japanese (go? Language? Buddhism?) More traveling?
	53. While reading Chris Ware's The Smartest Kid on Earth, sometimes I find myself quickly scanning over images w/o text to find the images with text. What role do the images without text play? How should they be looked at?